I was much
touched by Henley’s kindness in inviting me. I have never lost
the childlike humility which characterized all truly great men.
Modesty is its parody. I had to wait some little while before he
came down. When he did so, he was obviously suffering severe
physical distress. Like Marcel Schwob himself, he was a martyr
to constipation. He told me that the first half of every day was
a long and painful struggle to overcome the devastating agony of
his body. Only three weeks later he died. He was engaged in
various tremendous literary tasks and yet he could give up a day
to welcome a young and unknown writer!
I could not pretend to myself that so great a man could feel any
real interest in me. It never occurred to me that he might have
read anything of mine and thought it promising. I took, and
take, his action for sheer human kindness. I probably behaved
with my usual gaucherie. The presence of anyone whom I really
respect always awakes my congenital shyness, always overawes me.
Henley’s famous poem (which Frank Harris regards as “the bombast
of Antient Pistol”) appealed intensely to my deepest feeling
about man’s place in the universe; that he is a Titan
overwhelmed by the gods but not surrendering. And the form or
the poem is superb. It is in line with all the great English
expressions of the essential English spirit, a certain
blindness, brutality and arrogance, no doubt, as in “Rule
Britannia”, “Boadicea”, “The Garb of Old Gaul”, “The British
Grenadiers”, “Hearts of Oak”, “Toll for the Brave”, “Ye Mariners
of England”, et hoc genus omne; but with all that,
indomitable courage to be, to do and to suffer as fate may
demand.
I never thought much of the rest of Henley’s verse,
distinguished as it is for vigour and depth of observation. It
simply does not come within my definition of poetry, which is
this: A poem is a series of words so arranged that the
combination of meaning, rhythm and rime produces the definitely
magical effect of exalting the soul to divine ecstasy. Edgar
Allan Poe and Arthur Machen share this view. Henley’s poem
conforms with this criterion.
I told him what I was doing about Rodin. His view was that the
sonnet had been worked out and he advised me to try the
Shakespearian sonnet or quatorzain. I immediately attempted the
form in the train that evening and produced the quatorzain on
himself from which I have quoted above. I recognized at once
that the quatorzain was in fact much better suited to my rugged
sincerity than the suavity of the Italian form, so I composed a
number of poems in the new mode. In fact, I fell in love with
it. I invented improvements by the introduction of anapaests
wherever the storm of the metre might be maddened to typhoon by
so doing, and it may be that history will yet say that Clouds
without Water, a story told in quatorzains, as Alice
in sonnets, is my supreme lyrical masterpiece.
At least I have not died without the joy of knowing that no less
a lover of literature than the world-famous Shakespearian
Lecturer, Dr. Louis Umfraville Wilkinson, has dared to confess
publicly that Clouds without Water is “the most
tremendous and the most real love poem since Shakespeare’s
sonnets” in the famous essay “A Plea for Better Morals”. But I
anticipate. Clouds without Water came four years later. I
am still sitting sleepily in the twilight in Europe; after my
day’s labour three years long in the blazing sun of the great
world.
— The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. New
York, NY. Hill and Wang, 1969. Pages 344-346
______________________________
In October
of this year* I began Clouds without Water, fully
described elsewhere.
* 1907
— The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. New
York, NY. Hill and Wang, 1969. Page 504
______________________________
This
year was indeed my annus mirabilis in poetry. It began
with Clouds Without Water, to which I have already called
attention in the matter of its technique. The question of its
inspiration is not less interesting. At Coulsdon, at the very
moment when my conjugal cloudburst was impending, I had met one
of the most exquisitely beautiful young girls, by English
standards, that ever breathed and blushed. She did not appeal to
me only as a man; she was the very incarnation of my dreams as a
poet. Her name was Vera; but she called herself “Lola”. To her I
dedicated Gargoyles with a little prose poem, and the
quatrain (in the spirit of Catullus) “Kneel down, dear maiden o’mine.” It was after her that my wife called the new baby!
Lola was the inspiration of the first four sections of Clouds
Without Water. Somehow I lost sight of her, and in the fifth
section she gets mixed up with another girl who inspired
entirely sections six and seven. But the poem was still
incomplete. I wanted a dramatic climax, and for this I had to go
to get a third model. Number two was an old friend. I had known
her in Paris in 1902. She was one of the intimates of my
fiancée. She was studying sculpture under Rodin and was
unquestionably his best woman pupil.
— The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. New
York, NY. Hill and Wang, 1969. Pages 555-556
______________________________
But
back to my sculptress! To her I dedicated Rodin in Rime
and Clouds Without Water itself—not openly; our love
affair being no business of other people, and in any case being
too much ginger for the “hoi” “polloi”, but in such ways as
would have recommended themselves to Edgar Allan Poe.
— The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. New
York, NY. Hill and Wang, 1969. Page 557
______________________________
Now as
to section eight of Clouds Without Water, “The
Initiation”, I hardly know why I should have felt it necessary
to conclude on such an appalling chord. The powers of life and
death combine in their most frightful forms to compel the lovers
to seek refuge in suicide, which they, however, regard as
victory. “The poison takes us: Chi alpha iota rho epsilon tau
epsilon nu iota chi omega mu epsilon nu .” The answer is that
the happy ending would have been banal. The tragedy of Eros is
that he is dogged by Anteros. It is the most terrible of all
anticlimaxes to have to return to the petty life which is bound
by space and time. I had the option of coming down to earth or
enlisting death in my service. I chose the latter course.
My model was a woman very distinguished and very well known in
London society. She had already figured as the heroine of
Felix. She had been one of the best and most loyal friends
of Oscar Wilde. She was herself a writer of subtlety and
distinction, but she filled me with fascination and horror. She
gave me the idea of a devourer of human corpses, being herself
already dead. Fierce and grotesque passion sprang up for the few
days necessary to give me the required inspiration for my
climax. I could only heighten the intoxication of love by
spurring it to insanity.
— The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. New
York, NY. Hill and Wang, 1969. Pages 557-558
______________________________
I went
back to Paris on July 8th.* I worked on Clouds Without Water,
Sir Palamedes, The World’s Tragedy and “Mr. Todd”.
* 1908
— The Confessions of Aleister Crowley. New
York, NY. Hill and Wang, 1969. Page 573 |